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i suppose
last week was only an aftershock
of the earthquake you were before.
this place used to vibrate
with metal strings and melodic,
off-key shouting-
testimonies to life,
emitting coffee-scented moods
and the burn of it too.

i had memorized the
sounds of silence,
a cacophony
so despised
i couldn't help but relish it.
no longer had i known
the sounds of folk
and scent of mocha-
you became nothing more
than an echo of the laughter
i so desperately needed to hear again.

then the echoes got louder,
bouncing ferociously off the walls
to be made manifest
and dissipate.

i walked into your room
expecting exactly what i found-
an unmade bed,
bare desktops,
and an empty beer
(the one that you insisted you needed
just days ago).

i pressed my nose
into the pillow
hoping desperately,
begging silently
for incense and cologne and starbucks
to penetrate my mind
and thinking fervently
"you bastard,
i already know
what a clean sheet smells like."

it's amazing
how strong an aftershock can be,
but still it always ends
in echoes, fragments,
figments and sadness.

i saw an empty bottle
of five hour energy
on the side of a busy road
and i hate how vivid
such a void object can
remain.
i could go for some 5 hour energy right now actually

edit sept. 1-- i certainly wasn't expecting this! thank you so much to ShadowedAcolyte for featuring this piece, and to everyone who reads, faves, or comments on it. it really does mean the world to me. :huggle: :heart:
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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-09-01
five hour energy by SpiralingSpontaneity is swollen with loss and peppered with the tastes and smells of powerful imagery ( Featured by ShadowedAcolyte )
:iconbowbreaker:
bowbreaker Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
congrats on the DD!! this gave me goosebumps omg
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!! <3
Reply
:iconhopeburnsblue:
hopeburnsblue Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Professional Writer
I'm really glad this got a DD. Congrats!
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much!! <333
Reply
:iconthatartisticmofo:
ThatArtisticMofo Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014
It seems weird that literature/poetry is even a category on DA, but poems like this show why the genre deserves it's place here. Good stuff.
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't necessarily agree with you on that- after all, art includes so many different forms and literature is certainly one of them. c: Still, thank you for the comment! I appreciate it very much :tighthug:
Reply
:iconthatartisticmofo:
ThatArtisticMofo Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014
I wasn't saying Lit isn't art, far from it. I just always associated this site with visual art only. Anyway, you're welcome
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Ahh i get what you mean, sorry for the misunderstanding. c: <3 i was pleasantly surprised with the amount of great lit i found on this site at the beginning! there are some fantastic writers here, it makes me so happy. :love:
Reply
:iconthatartisticmofo:
ThatArtisticMofo Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014
Yeah I mean I even have a couple of lit things myself here
Reply
:iconcole-y:
Cole-y Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014
the imagery in this is intense & tangible
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much <3
Reply
:iconfourisamagicnumber:
fourisamagicnumber Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This could make a good song.
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks c:
Reply
:icontheweelad:
TheWeeLad Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014
this is remarkably vivid... to the point of fevered deliriousness... if that was a planned narrative effect then you have won all the cookies.

On the delivery and subject matter I would say you get the cake too, I felt through this poem and almost drunken sense of loss... and something beyond mere pain... confusion maybe? utter confusion at the situation the protagonist finds his/her self in... a miserable pathetic confusion.
well done.
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Goodness, thank you so much! You're very kind and I really appreciate the comment :tighthug:
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:icontheweelad:
TheWeeLad Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014
Hey... its what I felt on reading this beautiful madness.
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconbuttyanddipper:
ButtyandDipper Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
really liked it :-) very strong and powerful piece :-) well done :-) Butty&Dipper :-)
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! <3
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is really, really good. The beginning drew me in instantly - such a beautiful metaphor! - and it stays gripping until you get to the last line. Well done! :clap:
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much!! :tighthug: :heart:
Reply
:iconmiserabel:
miserabel Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! :blowkiss:
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:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I always feel so cool when I've already got a piece that becomes a DD in my favorites! :eager: I'm so proud of you sweetheart!  A DD incredibly well-deserved!
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gosh, thank you!! :tighthug: :heart:
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:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:giggle: You're so welcome!  How goes the cleaning of the inbox?  Loving all the feedback messages?
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm basically finished, haha! Going through them all was definitely a great thing to do after school started, lol. :la:
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:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That's awesome. :hug: I'm so proud of you!
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gosh, thank you!! :huggle:
Reply
:iconweirdandlovely:
WeirdAndLovely Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
:giggle: You're so welcome!
Reply
:iconayeaye12:
AyeAye12 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student Writer
CONGRATS ON THE DD!!!! :happybounce:
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much!! :la: :tighthug:
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:iconramwoc87:
RAMWOC87 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So poetic and beautiful!
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! <3
Reply
:iconramwoc87:
RAMWOC87 Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome, and congratulations on the daily deviation!
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! c:
Reply
:iconramwoc87:
RAMWOC87 Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
^3^
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:iconhiland-rose:
Hiland-Rose Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Professional Artisan Crafter
wow..... the flow of this is vibrant to the end... well done!  Congrats on the DD.
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! that's very kind of you :hug: i hope you're doing well!
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:iconlinney69:
Linney69 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
beautiful write.
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much! <3
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:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Very vivid.
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you c: <3
Reply
:iconkarinta:
Karinta Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Student General Artist
Aw you're welcome.
Reply
:iconagonizingswordfish:
AgonizingSwordfish Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Congratulations on the DD! :meow:
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you! c: <333
Reply
:iconagonizingswordfish:
AgonizingSwordfish Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconthegalleryofeve:
TheGalleryOfEve Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!! :iconflyingheartsplz::iconlainloveplz::iconflyingheartsplz: :clap::clap::clap:
I’m very happy for you!!! :iconloveloveplz: :tighthug:
Reply
:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thank you so much! c: <333 i hope you have a lovely day!
Reply
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Submitted on
February 28, 2014
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